Nom de Plume
by Werewindle
Summary: Xander stumbles in to a whole new world, one that changes his way of thinking... a Xander is corrupted by fanfiction story
1. Bored

Title: Nom Deplume  
Author: Werewindle  
Rating: PG for now might go up...  
Categories: HumorPairing: S/X  
Disclaimer: If they were mine it wouldn't be called Fanfiction would it?

Summery: Xander stumbles in to a whole new world, one that changes his way of thinking...

* * *

Xander had new obsession. 

His friends didn't notice it at first, too preoccupied with their own lives to notice such a subtle change. In fact it wasn't until Willow saw him in Office Max buying crates and hanging files that they began to wonder.

* * *

A few months before

* * *

Xander was bored. Bored stiff. Bored out of his gourd. Bored to tears. BORED. 

Anya had flounced off to where-ever-the-hell to start a new life. One where she could 'Make lots of money and find many men to give her orgasms.' Spike said it sounded like she 'Bloody well wanted to work in a brothel.' Xander had to hide a smirk at that.

Xander supposed there was an up-side, Anya had left the TV. More like it wouldn't fit in her car, but none the less. Unfortunately for Xander there was nothing on to help relieve his boredom. So after what had to be the twentieth pass through the channels, he clicked the TV off and threw the remote down in disgust. Slouching down on the couch he scanned the room for SOMETHING to do. He skipped over the board-games, alighted briefly on the stereo eyes already tracking toward the shelf of movies when Xander's attention was caught by the computer, tucked away in the corner.

He had never much used it, Anya had gotten it to do inventory spreadsheets and other profit margin-y things on. Yet another thing that wouldn't fit in her car with the MANY suitcases and boxes of clothes. He could play around on the internet for awhile. See if the fifth season of Red Dwarf was out on DVD yet...

* * *

A/N 

Yes I know: Short, short, short. But my muse is a fickle bitch today and now wants to go play with something else.


	2. Treasures

Title: Nom Deplume 2/? Treasures  
Author: Werewindle  
Rating: PG for now might go up...  
Categories: HumorPairing: S/X  
Disclaimer: If they were mine it wouldn't be called Fanfiction would it?

Summery: Xander stumbles in to a whole new world, one that changes his way of thinking...

* * *

Xander had been puzzled at first, his search for Red Dwarf turned up some odd listings. Besides that porn sites that turn up no matter WHAT you type, there seemed to be an a lot of fan fiction sites. Curious to what exactly that might be he clicked on a likely link and found a whole slew of stories. Wonderful odd tales about Lister, Rimmer and Cat. 

He read a few, and then a few more. He went back to the search page and clicked another link devouring page after page of written gems. One site had other kinds of stories listed. Star Trek and Sentinel and even a lone Harry Potter fic which was twisted and weird and he was never going to look at Dumbledore the same light again.

After that Red Dwarf was quickly abandoned for other shows and movies. He found archives and mailing lists and a Live Journal community or two. Before he knew it the night had come and gone and he went to bed hoping to catch a few hours sleep before his shift. In the morning he hurried through his shower and grabbed a cold pop tart the lure of 'just a short one' before work too mush to resist. thirty minutes later he scurried out the door running late.

That night he came home and ate drive thru burgers while reading 'Career Girl Blues'. He laughed (almost spraying the screen with soda) at some parts and squirmed in his seat at others (surprising after dating Anya). Then Clive did something very naughty in the coat room with Dick Grayson, and it was hot... very hot.

Xander went to bed confused.

* * *

A/N 

Yes I AM Evil. Another short bit but this was all my muse was good for. growls at muse

Career Girl Blues is by the goddess Scribe. Who if she never writes another thing I will love forever for this and her Scott Evil series. (and Clive but that goes without saying... and maybe CSI: GS) find her here: http:www. angelfire. com/grrl/ scribescribbles/ mainmenu. htm (remember to take out the spaces)


	3. Research and Revelations

Nom de Plume - 3 Research and Revelations  
by Werewindle

(disclaimers and warnings in part 1)

* * *

Xander lived on the Hell mouth he was used to having to adapt to new and Wiggins inducing situations. And really this was a little thing compared to one of the quarterly apocalypses. (which reminded him that he needed to sharpen his spare axe, they were due for another one soon.) So he wasn't going to freak -well anymore- and deal with this logically. With check list and everything.

* * *

**Purposely read more man on man stuff to see if this was just a fluke.**

Ok, minor readjusting. Man that had been wince worthy and he was NEVER going to read anything by that author again. shudder

**Research Warnings/Tags for fics.**

**Read more SLASH/ YAOI**

Duly fortified with the Twinkies of comfort and the neon green caffeinated goodness of Mt Dew and armed with his shiny new vocabulary Xander set out to test his reaction to the whole Clive/Grayson coatroom thing.

* * *

Xander had had a revelation, or he was in the middle of one... the point is Xander had been THINKING. He was a manly sort of man and a relatively realistic one so he could full admit to himself that he had - on occasion - found another man attractive. He may have even had a small crush or two on some of his non-female acquaintances (and Johnny Depp but who didn't?).

So what if he wasn't as straight as he had always asserted? Really looking back there has been a few ... instances, that when you apply the research findings to - might very well point to the fact that he could be bi. Look at the whole gay me up thing. Could he have been subconsciously conscious of it?

Ok so revelations aren't his strong point, but he is sure about a few things. Beyond the fact that there are many, many wonderfully skilled writers out there, more even that write just slash, the more porn-ish scenes made him hot under the collar. Secondly he had an over whelming urge to try his had at writing some fanfiction. NOT slash...yet, he wasn't quite ready for that. In fact, Xander thought he might need to do some more research...


	4. Relena?

Title: Nom de Plume  
Author: Werewindle  
Rating: PG for now might go up...  
Categories: Humor  
Pairing: S/X  
Disclaimer: If they were mine it wouldn't be called Fanfiction would it?

Summery: Xander stumbles in to a whole new world, one that changes his way of thinking...

* * *

Xander was preoccupied, all morning his mind just kept wandering from his paper work. After reading the same memo for the fourth time he gave up and headed home, it was raining anyway not like he had crews to deal with today.

Xander got home and sat himself down in front of the computer. He'd gotten into Gundam Wing a last weekend and was greedily reading through a couple of archives. His favorite being Gundam Wing Addiction. Then last night he'd read this story - or tried to read this story. He just couldn't suspend his disbelief far enough to get into the plot.

It starts out and Heero gets turned into a vampire. Ok - can believe that. But then he wakes up and the first thing he thinks of is not blood but turning Relena so they can be together forever.

Nope sorry back it up. Ok so let's say for a second that Heero really did want to turn a companion - first thing on his mind. That's fine, but RELENA? The girl with a PINK limo, who stalks Heero - potentially blowing his cover cause you KNOW Oz would hear about her showing up. The annoying little girl who throws her self at him screaming 'Kill me, Heero.'

Not buying it. Just - ugh. Eternity with the pink menace? - enough to turn a person's stomach. No if Heero were going to turn a companion it'd be someone more like... Duo. Yeah, Duo. Someone who could take care of himself - who would have similar skills so they could hunt together, someone that would be interesting enough to keep him entertained for centuries.

Not that a newly risen vamp could really turn a person and have them come out as anything close to sane or useful - but then again most people didn't know that. It's Fiction after all, accuracy not expected.

Xander pulled up a blank word doc and started typing.

* * *

A/N

The story is not real. I made the details up so if there really is one floating around - No offence meant.

The archive how ever is real and I loves it. Find it here, if you're interested - http/ www. gwaddiction. com/ (remember to remove the spaces)


	5. Fingers Have a Mind of Their Own

Nom de Plume 5

Xander read through his first attempt at fanfiction. He was kind of excited. He'd never much liked the whole writing thing in school but this was fun. His brow furrowed in thought. He really didn't have any idea what to do with the plot from here. See, he'd started out with a plot in mind but something seemed to hijack his brain and he found his fingers typing words other then what he'd planed to write.

And now that something was demanding that his feet take him to the Magic Box where the books lived and where there was a Giles to answer questions cause it had another idea and he didn't want to sound stupid, right? - should someone in the know read it.

Xander thought maybe he was catching Willow's wannaresearch disease.

* * *

"Erm. Hey, Spike? Can I ask you a couple of questions?" Xander came to stand at the bottom of the steps where Spike was lounging. The blond just raised and eyebrow incredulously. "I'd have asked Giles but he's ..." Xander trailed off looking over his shoulder at where Giles was arguing heatedly with a customer. "So it's a vampire question - resident vampire." He bounced on the balls of his feet waiting for Spike to speak.

Spike just looked at the boy, when it became obvious that Xander wasn't leaving he sat up. "Well that'd depend Whelp. What's in it for me, hmm?"

Xander just rolled his eyes, "The packet of O-pos in my freezer."

"Gonna have to do better than that. My services aren't cheap." Spike haggled.

"Alright, there could be three packets - but that's all." Xander stated firmly.

"Deal." Spike tromped down the stairs and headed toward the door.

"Hey! Were are you going!" Xander hurried after the vampire.

"Where do you think, Whelp. Not talking until I have my blood." Xander sighed and headed to his truck where Spike was waiting impatiently. He was starting to get that this-is-a-bad-idea feeling.


	6. A Talk

Spike sat down at the kitchen table with his first mug of blood, savoring the rare treat. "So, whelp, what do you want to know?"

Xander grabbed a soda from the fridge and took the seat across from the vampire. "When a childe is made are there any... rituals or ceremonial things that the Sire does? I mean, I get how a childe is made and even how the difference between say a childe and a fledge, but is there like... Clan traditions or something?" Xander rolled the cold can between his hands as he waited for Spike to answer. He could tell his question surprised the vampire by the way the blond's eyebrow arched slightly and the lack of snark.

"Sometimes," Spike answered eventually. "Depends on the Clan, depends on the vampire."

"And...?" Xander prodded.

"Why do you want to know, Whelp? Gonna ask the Poof to Sire you? Don't think he's really on the market for male companionship at the mo', Peaches' panting after that cheerleader last I saw."

Xander huffed and bit back the automatic response, he wanted Spike's knowledge and the vampire would close up quicker then a mouse trap when annoyed. "I'm not aiming to join the undead brigade, just curious really."

Spike shook his head, "Don't believe you."

"Doesn't matter what you believe bleach-boy." Xander retorted.

Spike finished off his blood. "Come on now, Pet. Tell me what you're really up to and I'll answer all your vampire questions."

"You're getting blood for answers, or are you trying to tell me you'd rather have some info then nummy O-pos?"

The vampire looked like he was considering the choice thoroughly, before shrugging. "No reason I can't have both."

Xander felt like thumping his head on the table. He almost wished he'd never heard of fanfiction... but no then he'd be without it's consuming goodness. "Fine. It's for a - a project I'm working on. Not a scoobie project!" He added hastily at Spike's narrow eyed look. "Just something I'm working on."

"R-ight Well that explains fuck-all." Spike got up and poured himself another mug, tossed the empty bag and slid a second into the microwave. He sat down across from Xander again and leaned back in his chair negligently. "Gonna have to do better then that Harris."

"No. The deal was you answer my questions, and I ply you with blood. No where in there was any mention of ME answering anything," Xander glared at his guest. "Rituals? Be more specific this time."

**-TBC-**

* * *

A/N  
I'll be skipping their chat- because it's giving me a bad case of Writer's Block. Up next: Author!Xander and Sneaky!Spike 


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